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This is written especially for the girl named Alexa.
And to begin…a tiny bit about me.
It was my hair that caught people’s attention.
And my earlier-than-everyone-else physical development. And my non-skinny-ness.
But mostly my hair.
Name calling. Ostracizing. Straight up bullying.
Even to this day, sometimes I wonder what people really think. I still look different than the accepted “norm.”
There was that time a few years ago when I walked into the produce section at the grocery store. A little girl and her mom were nearby. Little girl says to me (loudly), “Hey lady…why’re you wearing a wig?!?”
This was the day of which I speak:
Um, it’s not a wig. And, guess what? Zero response from the mom, one way or the other. Reinforcing to the little girl that it must be okay to call out physical differences in public…even when it’s someone’s God-given hair!
Okay, rant over…well, for now, at least.
The years since have brought plenty more for me to be sensitive about, but the hair still stands out as one of the biggest. Clearly.
HI THERE! DONāT FORGET TO PIN THIS FOR LATER!
Well-Meaning People (Who Don’t Understand)
Ah yes, the well-meaning people (who really don’t understand).
“Why don’t you like your hair? I spend $$$ on my hair to get it more curly.”
Um, step into my 7th grade shoes for a minute.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Uh, words can hurt very badly.
C’mon, people!
Think about your vulnerable spot and how much you’d like people’s platitudes spoken about your sensitivities.
Not fun and not appreciated.
Hurtful People (Who Do Understand)
Then, there are these people. In one word: bullies.
There are plenty of studies and opinion pieces about bullying. I won’t go into that in detail here.
What I will say is that bullies are hurtful people who know exactly what they’re doing. They do what they do to try to diminish you and try to make themselves look better. They may feel entitled. They may be acting out their anger. But, one way or another, they’re trying to bring you down.
Identity Crisis in the Tech Age
Here’s where I’m going with this whole thing…finally.
Do you own an Amazon Echo? If so, raise your hand. I’ll wait.
Okay, I saw you. I’m done tallying.
Even those of you that don’t own one, I’m sure you’re aware that these things exist. You’ve seen an ad. You’ve been to someone’s house where they use voice commands to turn the music on or off.
And what name do people invoke to do all these things?
Alexa.
Alexa, do this. Alexa, do that. Alexa, what’s the weather? Alexa, play me this kind of music. Alexa, buy more toilet paper (thanks a lot, COVID-19)!
A short name, yet with three syllables. Includes an “x,” which is unique.
But, oh…we’re gonna dig deeper than that.
Beyond giving endless commands to an inanimate object, did you know that there are real people, real girls, real women in this world that are named Alexa?
And many of them are subjected to supposedly well-meaning people (who don’t understand) making “harmless” jokes.
These people, interestingly, are often adults. But, even adults can’t seem to keep quiet when they meet a human being named Alexa.
He he…Alexa, what’s the weather?
He he…Alexa, can you take down my Christmas lights?
Of course, there are also the hurtful people (who do understand the hurt they’re causing), and they’re also making “jokes.”
Still unacceptable.
And to make matters infinitely worse, the hurtful comments are even delving into sexual harrassment in some instances. Alexa, do this for me. Alexa, do that.
Are you kidding me?!?!?
It must stop!
Words matter. We can use our words to bless people or curse people. Our words can heal or harm, unite or divide. They're powerful. We need to use them wisely. Share on XPersonal Identity
Our name is a large part of who we are. It’s probably one of the very first words we heard. We respond when someone calls out our name. When someone asks our name, we tell them. It’s on our driver license, our passport, our resume, everywhere.
That sense of personal identity includes girls and women named Alexa.
I’ve read articles about people considering legally changing the name of their daughter named Alexa. One family is spending thousands of dollars to send their daughter, Alexa, to a private school where teasing is not allowed.
Families have personally petitioned Amazon and its leadership to stop using the name Alexa.
One family has started a website called “Alexa is a Human,” and they include a link to their associated change.org petition on the matter.
True Identity
I believe that our true identity is found in Jesus Christ…in Him and Him alone.
This truth, however, does not give license to everyone else in the world to put others to the test…to throw all human kindness out the window.
We can teach our kids where their true worth lies, in those formative years especially, when they’re navigating how to make good friends, how to be a good friend, how to stand out in the right ways, and how to fit in in the right ways.
But, there will be bumps in the road, and as we teach spiritual truths, we also need to help our kids learn how to journey through the world around them…including those named Alexa.
A Lesson to Be Learned Here is…
Words matter. We can use our words to bless people or curse people. Our words can heal or harm, unite or divide. They’re powerful. We need to use them wisely.
Adults: If you have an Amazon Echo, please change its wake word to Amazon, Echo, or Computer.
If you have an Amazon Echo, please change its wake word to Amazon, Echo, or Computer. Share on XParents: Show your kids unconditional love, and teach your children kindness.
Kids: Stick up for one another. Don’t be a bully, and don’t tolerate bullies.
General Population: Watch what you say. Step into someone else’s shoes before making a comment.
Companies: Consider the negative impact of giving your products a widely-used human name.
And to the Girl Named Alexa…
Hold your head high. You are beautiful. You are special. You are made in God’s image. Know where your true identity comes from.
Be a good friend. Your true friends won’t make you feel less than.
Your name, Alexa, means “defender of mankind.” Do your best to stick up for others that are in a similar kind of situation.
Don’t allow people the satisfaction of making “jokes” at your expense. You may choose to come up with a snappy (but kind) comeback. Enlist your parents, friends, those closest to you, to help you come up with something good. Something that lets others know their “joking” isn’t funny to you.
Whether you choose a standard comeback or not, determine how you will respond to others, if they choose to “joke” about your name.
And one more thing. You’ve got me! The one with the crazy curly hair! I’m on your side, Alexa!